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09/05/2001 Entry: "Val is found"

Val called me last night. I was so... overjoyed, I was holding my breath the whole time. She's in the hospital again, but unlike December 3rd, 2000, she's perfectly fine... physically, at least. At least I know where she is.

The night before, I was striken with major anxiety. I didn't know where she was. I couldn't sleep. Tuesday morning, I couldn't drink my coffee. Tuesday at work I just broke down and cried at my desk for a couple minutes, in the bathroom for another 45. In HR for a minute or two, and at the Forks for ... wow, I don't know how long.

I wonder if this is worrying TOO much...

But... today should be a better day. I miss Val to pieces, but I know where she is, I know that she's okay, and that she's coming home soon.
My friend, of whom I comforted Sunday night (was it sunday?) came by last night, originally to see Darrel, but she had the chance to comfort me. I also called my parents and talked to them about it too.
Val is wonderful. But... too far away right now. I ought to calm down.

Anxiety attacks me in the worst way, I think. The thing is, I think too much. I have a vast imagination. I work out situations in my head. When I've had enough coffee, I have enough reason, and enough information, I can play out a whole large group of people, each person having their own story and at the end of the imaginary night, I could accurately determine the actions of all those people.