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03/13/2002 Entry: "Opening at the Library"

I experienced a joyous and exciting time, waiting for the Library to open. Once it did, it felt exciting seeing the library rapidly increase in visitors. It reminds me of the Library in the movie "City Of Angels". It just feels... nice. Maybe I'm just simple that way.
I got a book, "The Guideposts' Parallel Bible" which has The King James Version, the New International Version, the Living Bible, and The Revised Standard Version of the Truth all rolled into one book. I'm enjoying it.

In other news... I'm just tired. Lotsa tired. I had to get the keys from River's brother today, as yesterday River did not get home until sometime after 9 and I was waiting for him since 8 or a little earlier. The day before River was not to be found, and I had no where to stay. I actually met up with a good old friend of mine from years back, and he was gracious enough to have a bed for me to sleep in that night. The night before, I think I was waiting late as well.
It's tough... reaaaaaly tough... but I think I'll have to stay with my parents. It will be very difficult -- I would be in Teulon by 6:00pm and no way to get back to the city to visit or anything. I will have to be asleep by 8 or 9, wake up at 4:00am, get ready to leave a little past 5:00, in the city by 6:00am, work starts only at 8:30 or 9:30am, and work until 5:00 and get a ride out... if I'm lucky. If I have 9:30 shifts, my parents will have to wait for me to finish work, which will ruin their schedule.
And, work will JUST NOT GIVE ME 7:00AM start times. They refused me that request multiple times.

I need somewhere to stay for FREE for half a month, so I can build up the money required to get an apartment. There is no where that I can stay for free, that's not a home for homeless people. I want a place to eat, sleep, and live for free for half a month.

Like that's going to happen.

Oh... Val and I have redefined our relationship to one which has no definition. We are not "boyfriend and girlfriend" anymore, just Friends+. It doesn't bother me... it just seems like a step back from being really happy. Sure, I can live with this. I respect and even understand her boundaries...

It's just a rough feeling going to bed every single night and wanting just someone to hold you, but no one will. It's a rough feeling having to live with more stress than someone with my age should have, and have no one to cry to about it.

It's rough being sensitive.