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02/03/2003 Entry: "Emotional? nahhh"

Val-index is now guaged on a different scale. Me, emotional? no, not really. Prayers are still with her, but she's got her own direction now, and bless her for that. Besides, I've some to realize something...

I realize that val and I started a relationsihp when she was NOT very healthy at all and back then emotions were not normal and... a relationship was based out of ... i don't want to say bad stuff, but not the RIGHT stuff. and ... because of those loose roots, a relationship just dodn't suceed because... well, we tried too hard to recreate seomthing that was in it's BEST MOMENTS when she was sick.

But she wasnt' sick anymore.

and i'm scared because the Lord has led me to a place where... Val doesn't mean NEARLY as much to me as she did... and maybe this is healthy.

She tells me, "no more you in my life" and ... it doesn't hurt me... it's just uncharateristic.