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05/11/2003 Entry: "Re-Kristie Thoughts"

Ohman... having Kristie thoughts again. I'm remembering how it was to be here the first time; then again when I had to leave; and again when I came back; and again when I had to leave; and when she starting dating Wayne...

It all hurts. But I wouldn't trade it in for anything. Maybe just parts of it. I just hope the relationship improves.

The thoughts came to me when Angelo, around 12:30, was getting a little restless. I came to calm him, he looked at me, and I knew there was love. It reminds me of the look he gave when he was but an infant, those same eyes, looking for strength...

If there's one thing (amongst many) I've learned from being with Val, it's inter-dependency. Knowing that I have to be always ready to be the strong one. I am the strong one now, but with ... little weaknesses. Angelo's my little weakness.

I want her back... She's beautiful, and never stopped being beautiful, dispite what she thinks.

It's impossible, but those are my prayers. Nothings impossible with God...